BY AIYANYO "YANY" AIBANGBEE AND GERVAIS MBUNKEU
Guy--you have now booked the babe, you got the digits and made your move, she agreed to go out on a date with you, you're anxious about this whole thing.
In the words of Aaron Rodgers, the great GreenBay Packers Quarterback in the NFL, R-E-L-A-X.
For many guys, the first date can be quite a rollercoaster of emotions. You want to impress the lady without coming off too strong. You want to ask her intimate questions without sounding like a creep. No worries, you are not alone. Many brave and attractive men all over the world have tripped all over themselves on the first date. We got you!
Here are ten battle-tested tips that are definitely going to help you pull off a very successful first date, and score many more future dates in the process.
1. Be Confident
Confidence is key! There is a reason she said yes to you in the first place. That should already give you a bit of confidence, which most women like. Nervousness is human but you would want to look and feel confident. Believe in yourself! Add a little pep in your step, and smile brightly when you walk into the meeting point. A simple smile as you strut into the spot shows you exude plenty of confidence. A smile says "I'm here! I feel good about myself! I own this place!". Hold your head up high and keep that smile as you walk towards her.
2. Image Is Everything
Arrive early. Look good. Smell good. Hygiene is important so make sure you keep your nails trimmed and your breath minty fresh. Also get a haircut, this should go without saying, but many a men have shown up to first dates looking like they had just been attacked by a colony of angry squirrels on ecstasy.
When you spot your date, walk to her with your arms opened wide and a bright smile, and give hug a nice, hearty hug. No handshake, You are not here for a meeting, this a date. Sit next to your date, not across from her, again, this is not an interview. Remember, this is a potential investment, a chance for a great relationship, whether it works out romantically or not. Women never forget, I can tell you that much.
3. Have a Conversation
The first date is an opportunity to get to know each other. I repeat, “get to know each other”. You would want a scenario where you are both having a great conversation. Whether you met her online, at the club or at a wedding; is irrelevant. This is your chance to get acquainted with each other. That being said, I recommend you take her somewhere that you can talk to each other and laugh. Something intimate but not too intimate, the goal here is to be able to have a two-way conversation without having to yell over the loud music, or the annoying drunkards in the next booth. Just make sure the place is good enough to have a decent conversation. **Whispers** (Coffee Shop).
4. Manners Matter
Ditch the cell phone during the entire date, it's just rude!
Whether you are eating out at some restaurant or sitting in a coffee shop, good manners matter. If you don’t have an idea about manners when having dinner or lunch, do your research online; google is your friend bro, use it! Open the door for her, pull out her chair(if there are chairs), or wait for her to sit down first, help her take off her coat(if she's wearing one), etc.
Simply put, just make the babe feel special and act like your mama raised you right.
5. Keep It Interesting
Keep the conversations interesting. Ask the right questions. Ask her about herself, what she likes to do and what she doesn’t like. These often bring plenty of interesting conversations. If you think focusing all the attention on yourself would work you are one step away from another bad date. Women love men with humor. Try not to be cheesy or corny. Be yourself but please, don’t force the jokes. Most women just want to laugh and have a great time. If she has a great time with you, trust me she will want to hang out again.
6. Don't Be Stingy with the Compliments
Kind words always touches the heart. If there is one thing in my life so far that I have always done, it’s to make women smile and happy by complimenting them, it works like a charm. There has to be something about her that you find interesting and amazing, make sure you tell her that. You may compliment something she is wearing, her smell, her outfit, her smile. Just find something you like and let her know you like it.
7. Body Language is key
Now this is the most underrated tip when it comes to dating. You would be surprised at what I have observed and learned from women and their body language. The way she responds to you is going to be very essential if there are to be future dates. You will need to pay attention to your own body language and hers as well. Maintain eye contact at all times, not gawking or staring at her, or giving her lusty eyes while licking your lips; No! Just maintain simple eye contact to let her know she's got your undivided attention.
Do: Occasionally lock eyes with her face, smile above the mouth(wide smile), lean toward her when you're talking.
Don't: Keep fold your arms when you're talking to her, don't frown or scowl.
Sometimes, as adults, the chemistry from hanging out would be more than you imagined and it can lead to intimacy. Make sure you have no regrets and keep the chemistry going.
8. Don't Be Cheap
Fellas, don’t go out on a date without getting the bill. Plan the date in advance, giving her very little details about it. Pick a place where you can have a conversation. If she persistently suggests an expensive place for a first date, that would be your choice. Use your discretion when picking a woman/girl for a date in the first place. Remember that not all women want to have a boyfriend or get married at that moment or ever; some just want to have fun. I wouldn’t spend too much money at the beginning. Many guys have done that and got ghosted(I’ll talk about this in another article.) Invest in putting in effort for her to have a great time. If she doesn’t appreciate that, then she wasn’t meant for you. Some women, who actually exist, may ask out of gesture to pay half of the bill--don’t let her pay because it is way too early for that.
9. Avoid Touchy/Risky Topics
We established earlier that this isn't a job interview, right? Good, this isn't 21 Questions either. Keep your questions focused on her, her likes and dislikes, if she enjoys traveling, ask about the places she's been to, what she liked about them, the food, the people, etc. Topics you absolutely must not bring up include: exes, religion and politics. You do not want to kill the vibe with your dislike of Donald Trump, or how much of a bitch your ex girlfriend was. More importantly, avoid sexist and misogynistic comments, she does not want to hear how much you dislike feminists on social media. Treat the waiting staff with respect and kindness.
10. To Kiss or Not To Kiss
A good rule of thumb for me has always been to keep small physical contacts throughout the evening, light touches on the hand, the arm and shoulders, and occasionally brushing your leg against hers, nothing creepy like grabbing or rubbing her thigh under the table though.
Now, at the end of the date you may be wondering whether you should go for a kiss or not. Honestly, it's a judgement call, every situation is different. But in general, if you've kept small touches throughout the date, you wouldn't need to kiss her goodbye, she'll remember you. However, pay attention to some clues, as Will Smith pointed out in the 2005 hit movie "Hitch", if your date is fiddling around with her keys, chances are she's waiting to be kissed. If she's hanging around in the parking lot delaying her exit from the car, she may be waiting for a kiss. A soft and gentle kiss on the cheek is enough to make an impact and leave her wanting more for next time.
It’s only the beginning. You may connect with her, You may not. Don’t force anything. If you call or text her after the date and she doesn’t respond within 24 hours, just forget about it and move on. There is someone out there that you will always connect with. Correction, there are plenty out there that you will connect with.
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Aiyanyo "Yany" Aibangbee IG: @kingyanythe1st
Gervais Mbunkeu IG: @mota_loko
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